Mission: Potty Possible
Potty training can be a stressful yet exciting time in a child’s life, and for parents, it often feels like navigating uncharted waters. remember the parenting classes we taught, and the fear of the parents that came with wondering, "Do I really want to go through with this?" At times, it almost felt like keeping my child in diapers forever would be the easier choice in that moment.
Let me encourage you: by preparing yourself, you'll gain more confidence. Don't start just because your neighbor did or because your best friend's child is potty trained. This is not a race.
Every child is unique, and their readiness for potty training will vary. Understanding the signs of readiness, the different approaches to potty training, and the patience required help create a smooth transition from diapers to using the toilet.
Let’s look at it more detailed:
Individual Development
The journey of potty training is a deeply personal experience for both the child and the parents, with each child developing at their own pace. It's important not to rush the process, as potty training is not just about teaching the mechanics of using the toilet. It's about understanding and respecting your child's individual developmental needs.
The main goal of potty training is for the child to gain control over their bladder and bowels, which requires sufficient neurological development. "Dry" refers to a child’s ability to control their bladder, while "clean" relates to managing bowel movements.
Research shows that a child's ability to control these bodily functions is closely tied to the development of their nervous system. The milestone of being able to hold urine and stool, and recognize the urge to go, typically happens between 18 and 24 months. But remember, every child’s journey is unique, and there’s no perfect timeline. Don’t let numbers and ages overwhelm you. Trust in your child’s individual pace, and embrace the process with patience and love. It’s not about the deadline—it’s about their growth and the bond you share along the way.
Signs of Readiness
The signs of potty training readiness are both physical and emotional, and they vary from child to child.
Primary signs include:
Dry Phases: Your child may start going for longer periods without wetting their diaper.
Interest in Toileting: They might show curiosity about using the toilet or want to imitate your bathroom habits.
Following Instructions: If your child is able to follow simple directions, it’s a good sign they’re ready to learn.
Secondary signs can include:
Independence in Play: Your child may begin playing alone for longer stretches.
Dressing Themselves: They might show an interest in putting on or taking off clothes by themselves.
Bladder and Bowel Control Development
Research shows that nighttime potty training usually takes longer than daytime training. Most children are not consistently dry at night until they are around 4 to 5 years old because the brain’s ability to signal the need to urinate during sleep develops later.
Willful Readiness
Sometimes, a child might be physically ready but not mentally or emotionally ready to give up diapers. Willingness is key in potty training. If a child is not ready emotionally, the process can become a struggle. It’s crucial for parents to approach potty training with sensitivity, ensuring they create a positive, stress-free environment.
Parental Readiness
Before starting potty training, it’s important that parents feel ready as well. Patience and consistency are key, and approaching this milestone with a calm, supportive attitude makes all the difference. Potty training shouldn’t begin during stressful times, as children can easily sense their parents’ emotions. It’s best to start when the family’s routine is stable and there are no major disruptions.
Avoid beginning potty training when:
Your child is sick or recovering from an illness.
A big move is on the horizon.
Your family is going through a crisis.
You are in the early stages of pregnancy.
Research shows that the approach parents take—whether relaxed or structured—can affect the outcome. A positive, patient, and supportive attitude tends to lead to better results, while a punitive or overly rigid approach may make the process more challenging.
Be honest with yourself: is now the right time for your family to begin potty training? Take a moment to pray and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. If needed, consider delaying the process. Sometimes waiting for the right moment is the wisest choice, rather than rushing ahead or feeling unprepared to lead your child through this important milestone.
The Role of Consistency
Consistency is essential in potty training. Research shows that children who experience a steady, predictable routine are more likely to succeed in learning how to use the toilet. A consistent approach helps them form good habits and understand what is expected of them. If your child struggles to sit still or follow simple instructions, start with those basic skills first. For example, practice responding to their name when called, or sitting still for short periods during meals or playtime. These small steps help your child develop the ability to focus and follow instructions, which will make the potty training process smoother when the time comes. Building these habits early sets a strong foundation for everything that follows.
Equipment You’ll Need
Successful potty training involves having the right tools and equipment. These include:
A potty chair or toilet seat: This is often the first piece of equipment your child will use.
Training pants: Training pants can be a helpful transition between diapers and regular underwear. Research shows mixed results on their impact: while some studies suggest they may delay potty training by offering a similar feel to diapers, others find that they can provide much-needed support for children who are ready for potty training but need a little extra reassurance. Ultimately, the key is to find what works best for your child and your family's needs.
A beloved doll or stuffed animal: Many children learn better when they can practice on a doll or toy.
Rewards: Positive reinforcement like small treats or stickers can motivate your child.
Gradual Introduction
Start by introducing the concept of the potty to your child. Let them become familiar with the toilet or potty chair, explaining its purpose and showing them how it works. Practice with the doll or stuffed animal to model the behavior. Make sure your child understands that using the toilet is a normal and positive activity.
Three Approaches to Potty Training
There are three main approaches to potty training, and the one you choose depends on your family’s personality, schedule, and readiness.
1. Fast Potty Training (1-3 days)
This method requires full focus for a few days. Parents need to dedicate 1-3 days of uninterrupted time to potty training.
What You’ll Need:
Time and energy to dedicate to the process.
Snacks and drinks (to encourage the child to urinate frequently).
A doll or stuffed animal for role-play.
Training pants.
Patience and consistency.
5 Steps of Fast Potty Training:
Preparation: Begin by shopping for snacks and drinks together. Introduce the doll and practice the steps of potty training with it.
Day of Training: Start the day by having your child and the doll drink together, then check if the doll is dry.
Modeling the Potty: Show the doll using the potty and reward them.
Encourage Your Child: Ask your child, “Are you dry?” If they are, praise and reward them.
Self-Training: Gradually have your child try sitting on the potty for 4-10 minutes, rewarding them for success.
Key Points:
Praise the child for being dry, not just for using the potty.
Repeat the process frequently to build awareness.
2. Flexible Potty Training (2-4 weeks)
This method is less intense but still involves a structured approach over the course of a few weeks. Children are gradually introduced to the potty, and parents remain consistent but don’t expect immediate results.
3. Relaxed Potty Training (4-6 months)
A more relaxed approach, where the child is encouraged to use the potty, but without significant emphasis.. This method is ideal if your child is not showing signs of readiness yet.
Challenges and Practical Solutions
Potty training can feel like a long and challenging journey, and maybe you’ve heard stories from friends or even faced some tough moments yourself. Let me encourage you—you're not alone. Every parent experiences the ups and downs, and it's okay to feel frustrated sometimes. The road to success might have its bumps, but remember, these challenges are just stepping stones to progress. Here are a few common obstacles parents face, along with some tips for overcoming them:
Frustration and Pressure
Sometimes, children resist potty training because they feel pressured. This is especially true when parents push too hard or set unrealistic expectations. Remember that every child is different, and they will master the skill when they’re ready.
Solution: Be patient and avoid turning potty training into a power struggle. Instead of focusing on performance, focus on praise for effort and progress.
Accidents and Setbacks
Accidents are inevitable, and some children may have setbacks during the training process. Whether it’s an accident in the middle of a busy day or a refusal to sit on the potty, it’s important to stay calm.
Solution: It’s important to remember, not to scold your child for accidents. This is the goal, but let’s be honest, there will be moments of stress, and you might slip up, I certainly did. If that happens, ask for forgiveness, and take a moment to realign. Consciously ask the Holy Spirit daily to fill you with His patience and grace. We're all in this together, and it’s okay to be gentle with yourself as you navigate the ups and downs of this journey.They’re all part of the learning process. Just clean them up calmly and move on. Consistency and patience will guide you through setbacks. Be prepared by always having extra clothes on hand, along with a plastic bag for dirty ones. Scan your surroundings for nearby restrooms so you can act quickly when needed.
Nighttime Wetting
It’s normal for children to wet the bed at night, and this can continue until they’re 4-5 years old. If nighttime dryness is a concern, it’s helpful to have your child use the potty just before bed.
Solution: Consider reducing liquid intake in the evening and, if needed, waking your child once during the night to use the toilet. Some parents also find it helpful to use diapers at night until their child is fully trained.
Reluctance to Use the Potty
Some children might be hesitant to sit on the potty. This can stem from fear or discomfort with the change.
Solution: Gradually introduce the potty, making it a fun and non-threatening experience. Use toys, books, or even special songs to help your child feel more comfortable.
Final Thoughts
Potty training is not just about learning to use the toilet—it’s about learning control, independence, and growing into a new phase of life. As parents, it’s important to remember that every child will go through this process in their own way and at their own pace. Patience, understanding, and encouragement are key to helping your child navigate this exciting step.
Whether you choose a fast, flexible, or relaxed approach, the goal remains the same: to create a supportive environment where your child feels confident and ready to succeed. Potty training is a team effort. Involve siblings, cousins, and grandparents—after all, it takes a village. With love, consistency, and understanding, you'll navigate the journey together, celebrating every success, no matter how small.
I’ve had the privilege of coaching many parents through this journey, and I’ve seen some of them have to cancel along the way—whether because of stress, their child not being ready, or unexpected changes in life. I could feel their burden, that sense of “I don’t want to give up.” But when we took the time to talk through it, to really look at the situation, it became clear that pausing wasn’t failure—it was the wisest choice. It lifted the weight off their shoulders when they realized that sometimes, taking a step back is the most loving and patient thing you can do. So be honest with yourself. Trust that you’re doing what’s best for both you and your child.