The Lies We Believe in Parenting
Parenting is sacred ground. It’s not just any role—it’s holy work. Right there, in the middle of sleepless nights and temper tantrums, of giggles and growing pains, eternal seeds are being planted. Little hearts are being shaped. Souls entrusted by God are being nurtured, molded, and released into the world.
And yet, for all its beauty, parenting is also a battlefield. One of the fiercest. The enemy knows this. He sees the potential in your child long before they can walk or talk. He knows that a parent rooted in God’s truth can raise a world-changer. That’s why the lies come fast and hard—You’re not enough. You’re failing. You’re messing them up. This is too much for you.
Because if he can discourage a mom or isolate a dad, if he can stir division in the home or shame in the heart, he can begin to fracture not just a family, but a legacy. And that’s what he’s after—your legacy.
But take heart. You were chosen for this. Not by accident, not by default, but by divine design. God doesn’t make parenting mistakes. He placed that child in your arms and that fire in your spirit because He intends to equip you, sustain you, and walk with you every step of the way. You are not alone!
Many of us carry wounds from the lies we’ve believed. Some were inherited. Some were picked up in exhaustion and fear. And some were offered as culture’s twisted version of truth. These lies don't always scream. Often they slip in quietly, cloaked in good intentions, sounding almost right because they are too familiar.
But God has a better way. A way of freedom, alignment, and truth. And today, we’re going to bring those hidden lies into the light.
“Whatever the revelation-light exposes, it will also correct, and everything that reveals truth is light to the soul.”
(Ephesians 5:13,)
Let’s unmask the Accuser Himself.
Pull back the curtain.
Expose him for who he is—not a friend, not a voice of reason, but a liar.
he IS the father of lies. The thief of peace.
Let’s go there—boldly, honestly, and with hearts ready to be transformed.
LIE #1: “I’m Not Enough for My Children”
"You're ruining your children".
One of the enemy's favourite arrows.
He doesn't throw it when you're well rested and full of faith.
No, he waits.
He waits until the house is a mess - the baby is crying, the dinner is burning, your teenager has just slammed the door and you have unintentionally snapped at your spouse. Ever happened? It has to me, many times.
He waits until you're exhausted, worn out and barely holding it together.
Then, in that vulnerable silence, when you already feel defeated, he slips in with a whisper:
"You're ruining them. You're the problem. You're not enough."
It feels like the truth because it's so well timed.
Because it sounds like your own voice.
But it's not.
It's a lie straight from the pit of hell.
A recycled tactic from the Father of Lies, tailor-made to steal your confidence and blur your identity.
But here's the truth: God knew who you were when He gave you these children.
You're not raising your children alone - you're in partnership with heaven.
So when that lie comes, don't entertain it. Expose it.
Unmask the accuser.
And speak the truth louder than the whisper:
“I am called.”
“He gave us resurrection life and drew us to himself by his holy calling on our lives. And it wasn’t because of any good we have done, but by his divine pleasure and marvelous grace…”
—2 Timothy 1:9
“I am chosen.”
“But you are God’s chosen treasure—priests who are kings, a spiritual ‘nation’ set apart as God’s devoted ones…”
—1 Peter 2:9
“His strength is made perfect in my weakness.”
“…My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.”
—2 Corinthians 12:9
“His mercy covers every moment—even this one.”
“The Lord’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness!”
—Lamentations 3:22–23
LIE #2: “I have to control everything.”
In today’s world of parenting blogs, baby monitors, social media comparisons, and never-ending opinions, it’s easy to fall into the trap of over-controlling. We hover. We micromanage. We try to script every response, fix every attitude, and anticipate every meltdown before it happens. It feels like the more information we have, the tighter we need to grip.
But here’s the raw truth: Control is not the same as leadership.
God never called us to be dictators in our homes. He called us to be shepherds.
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." — Proverbs 22:6
Notice it says train, not program. You train a child like a gardener tends a tree: pruning, watering, and waiting with patience. You don’t yank the branches into place and expect fruit overnight.
Control is fear’s cheap imitation of godly stewardship. It comes from a place of panic—What if they mess up? What if I fail? What if they get hurt? But that fear-driven grip creates exactly what we’re trying to avoid: anxious kids, rebellious hearts, and exhausted, guilt-ridden moms.
This hits close to home?
I was that mom. As a recovering perfectionist, I know the grip of control all too well. Lie #1 and Lie #2—they weren’t just ideas. They were familiar voices in my head, whispering doubt, shame, and fear. They sounded like me, felt like truth, and came at me when I was already down.
They didn’t just discourage me—they condemned me.
Pulled me deeper when I was already on the floor, gasping for grace and wondering why it all felt so heavy.
But here’s what I’ve learned in the trenches:
God doesn’t meet us with shame—He meets us with truth.
Not the kind that beats us up, but the kind that builds us up.
Not the kind that demands perfection, but the kind that reminds us He’s the Perfect One, not us.
You don’t have to carry it all.
You don’t have to pretend you're fine when you're barely holding on.
You don’t have to prove your worth or earn what Jesus already finished.
He said it on the cross:
“It is finished.”
Not halfway done.
Not almost there if you just try harder.
Finished.
Let that truth wash over you now.
LIE #3: “If I don’t fix them now, I’ve failed.”
Parents often panic when kids act out.
Whether it’s defiance, laziness, lying, or sibling rivalry—we rush in to fix the behavior. The inner voice screams, If I don’t stop this now, they’ll end up in jail… or addicted… or living in my basement at 40.
So we are tightening our grip, imposing consequences and demanding change now.
But here’s what’s really happening:
Fear makes us reactive instead of relational.
We trade connection for control.
We parent from panic instead of purpose.
But the truth?
God is more interested in reaching your child’s heart than managing their performance.
Jesus didn’t come to modify behavior—He came to restore relationship.
Your child is on a journey.
And God is far more patient than we are.
We weren’t assigned to fix them.
We were called to teach them—to shepherd their hearts.
“The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” —1 Samuel 16:7
It’s easy to jump in and correct what we see.
But heart-work is slow. Messy. Sacred.
Yes, we can fix a problem quickly with fear or force.
But if we don’t reach the heart, the problem just goes underground and comes back stronger.
So don’t fear the process.
Stay present. Stay prayerful.
Discipline with love. Teach with patience. Lead with grace.
LIE #4: “I have to do this alone.”
This is one of the more dangerous lies in parenting—especially for moms and dads who feel isolated, overwhelmed, or still carrying the weight of generational wounds:
“You’re alone. No one understands. Keep it to yourself.”
That voice is not from God.
That’s the voice of the enemy—whispering shame, fear, and silence.
Don’t share your struggles, he says. You’ll look weak. You’ll be exposed. They’ll judge you.
And so you stay quiet. And you suffer. Alone.
But here’s the truth:
Parenting was never meant to be a solo mission.
It’s a partnership—with God, your spouse (if you’re married), and the body of Christ.
“Two are better than one… for if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.” — Ecclesiastes 4:9
You were never designed to parent in a vacuum.
You need people. You need prayer. You need voices of wisdom.
You need safe space to cry, laugh, rest, and be reminded of the truth when your own mind is drowning in lies.
Community is not optional—it’s essential.
God placed us in the Body so we could build one another up in love (Ephesians 4:16).
If you're hiding, isolating, or pretending to hold it all together, hear this:
You’re not the only one.
So take the risk. Open up. Reach out.
Let someone in. Let God use His people to hold you up.
Because when we parent together, pray together, and walk together—we grow stronger. And the lies lose their grip.
THE COST OF BELIEVING LIES
When we believe these lies long enough, they start to shape our identity.
We become anxious, angry, passive, or discouraged. We stop listening to the Spirit. We push our kids harder, or we give up altogether. We stop showing up as the parent God made us to be.
Lies create a version of parenting that looks spiritual on the outside but is rotten underneath. And the longer we live with them, the more normal they feel.
But we serve the God of truth. And truth breaks chains.
You’re not the Savior of your children.
You're their parent.
He never designed parenthood to be walked out in our own strength. He calls us to lean into Him—into His wisdom, His mercy, and His power made perfect in our weakness.
Our children don’t need flawless parents.
They need parents who are humble enough to say, “I was wrong.”
Who are quick to repent and slow to blame.
Who model dependence on Jesus—not just in church, but in the living room, car rides, and at the dinner table.
They don’t need us to be strong all the time. They need to see where our strength comes from.
When they watch you turn to Jesus in the hard moments, they’re learning where to turn in theirs.
BREAKING FREE: THE INVITATION TO TRUTH
John 8:32 says, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Freedom doesn’t come from trying harder. It comes from surrender. It comes from repentance. And it comes from allowing the Holy Spirit to retrain your mind and restore your hope.
Here’s how we start.
ACTIVATION: HOW TO BREAK AGREEMENT WITH LIES
Identify the lie.
Ask the Holy Spirit: What lie have I been believing?What’s the voice that plays in your head when things get hard?
“You’re a bad mom/dad.”
“Your child will never change.”
“It’s too late.”
write it down.
Ask the Holy Spirit for the truth.
Spend a moment in prayer. Ask: “Lord, what do You say about this?” Wait. Listen. He will speak.Break the agreement.
Say it out loud: “I renounce the lie that [insert lie]. I break agreement with fear and receive the truth that [insert truth].”Surround yourself with truth-tellers.
Find people who speak life and encouragement into your parenting—not judgment or shame.
FINAL ENCOURAGEMENT:
Let’s be a generation of parents who stop pretending and start unmasking the lies.
Let’s become truth-tellers—not just for ourselves, but for the moms and dads around us who are silently struggling under the weight of comparison, shame, and pressure.
Because the truth is, most parents don’t need more advice.
They need encouragement.
They’re not starving for more strategies.
They’re desperate for someone to look them in the eyes and say:
“Well done.”
“I see you.”
“You’re doing a fantastic job—even when it’s hard.”
Let’s be those voices.
Let’s speak life.
Let’s call out the good when others can’t see it in themselves.
Because moms and dads aren’t just raising kids—they’re fighting spiritual battles, breaking generational chains, and giving all they’ve got day after day.
Don’t underestimate the power of a kind word, a sincere prayer, or a moment of real connection.
The world is loud with lies.
Let’s be louder with His truth.