Dad, It’s Time to Lead Again

Happy Father’s Day!

But if you’re reading this on any other time, hear me: this is still for you. Right now.

It’s no secret—families are struggling.
Kids are confused. Marriages are under pressure. And too often, dads have stepped back—not because they don’t care, but because they feel unqualified, worn out, or unsure where to begin.

But listen, Dad:
Your family needs you to lead. Not someday. Not when you feel ready. Now.

Not to dominate. Not to control.
But to lovingly go first—to guide, protect, and stay steady in a world that’s pulling your children in every direction but the right one.

1. The Culture Lied to You, Dad

Let’s be real.

For years, the world has been feeding us lies about fatherhood. Through movies, media, and yes—even the silence of the Church—we’ve been told things like:

“Dads are optional.”
“Leadership is dangerous.”
“She’s better at this anyway.”
“Just stay out of the way and don’t mess it up.”

And maybe you've bought into some of it—quietly, without even realizing it, like me.

But here’s the thing: you’re showing up.
You’re working hard. You carry more than anyone sees.
You care—more than you’re probably willing to admit.

Still, some days feel like you’re running in circles.
You're tired. You’re stuck. You wonder, Does any of this actually matter?

Maybe you didn’t have a strong role model. Maybe no one ever showed you what godly fatherhood looks like in real life.
And now you’re asking yourself:
Am I even cut out for this? Can I really lead my family well? Or am I just faking it and hoping for the best?

Let me tell you something—those questions don’t disqualify you.
They’re the very reason God is inviting you to lean in, not give up.
You are built for this. Not because you have all the answers, but because He’s with you—and your willingness to lead is exactly where it begins.

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”
— 1 Corinthians 16:13–14

Leadership in the home isn’t about control—it’s about calling.
It’s not about barking orders or laying down the law.
It’s about laying down your life, day after day, and saying:
“Follow me as I follow Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1)

This is Kingdom fatherhood.

Not easy.
Not natural.
Not something you drift into.
It’s something you choose—daily.

In the small moments. In the hard conversations. In the quiet sacrifices no one sees.

Kingdom fatherhood is intentional.

It’s not weakness.
It’s not outdated.
And it’s definitely not optional.

It’s the kind of strength that serves when it’s tired, shows up when it’s hard, and leads with love, not ego.

Ego keeps us in bondage. I’ve seen it firsthand—the damage selfishness can do in fatherhood. It isolates, hardens, and blinds us to the needs of those we love most. I know what it’s like to lead from pride instead of purpose, to protect my comfort instead of my calling.

But the truth is, real strength begins with surrender. Fatherhood isn’t about proving yourself—it’s about laying yourself down. That’s where freedom begins. That’s where legacy is built.

Your family doesn’t need a perfect dad.
They need you—faithful, honest, humble, and growing.
They need a man who stays, even when it’s messy.
A man who worships when no one’s looking.
A man who admits when he’s wrong and leads from the grace he’s received.

“The righteous who walks in his integrity—blessed are his children after him!”
— Proverbs 20:7

So, if you’re wondering if your leadership matters, let me say it plainly: It does.
This is the time to rise.
To rebuild what’s been broken.
To lead your family with love, not fear.

You don’t have to do it alone.
The Father is with you. He’s not asking you to be enough—He’s asking you to follow Him.

Let’s be those dads.
Let’s take leadership back—not for our glory, but for His.
Because our kids are watching.
And the Kingdom starts at home.

These lies about fatherhood haven’t just confused us—they’ve shaped generations. And simply brushing them off won’t do.

We need to face these lies head-on—drag them into the light and fight like the warriors God made us to be. With righteous anger, we stand in the gap, refusing to let Lucifer destroy one more family.

Take time with Jesus. Not in a rushed, surface-level way, but deeply, personally. Let Him search your heart. Because deeper healing isn’t just for women—it’s for you, Dad. It’s for me.

Ask Him:
“Papa, what lies have I started to believe about my role as a father?”
Write them down. Sit with Him in it. Let Him reveal what’s been buried under years of pressure, shame, or silence.

Then ask:
“Who helped me believe this lie?”
It might be your dad.
Or the absence of a dad.
A coach. A teacher. A pastor. A moment that marked you.

Now choose to forgive them.
Not because they deserve it, but because you need to be free.
Forgiveness is a weapon. It breaks chains—especially the ones we didn’t even know we were carrying.

Then ask Jesus:
“What is the truth You speak over my fatherhood?”
Let Him speak it.
Let Him wash away the lies.
Let His truth settle in your heart and take root.

This isn’t a one-time fix. It’s a process.
A journey of revelation, conviction, and freedom.

But it starts now—right here, in the quiet, with your heart open before your Father.

Because you were made for more than just surviving fatherhood.
Survival is another lie.
"Just wait until they walk..."
"Just wait until they’re older..."
"Just wait until they move out..."

No—God didn’t call you to wait it out.
He called you to walk it out—with Him, right in the middle of the mess and the miracle.

This season isn’t a burden.
It’s your mission field.

2. Kids Crave the Strength of a Father’s Leadership

Your kids are looking for more than advice.
They’re looking for a man who lives what he says he believes.

They want to see what faith looks like when life gets hard.
They want a father who stands firm when everything else shakes, who shows up when things fall apart, and who loves them—no matter what.

They probably won’t say it out loud.
They might roll their eyes, push back, test your limits—again and again.
They may even act like they don’t care.
And some days, it’ll feel like nothing’s getting through.

But don’t let the silence fool you.
They’re watching. They’re listening.
And deep down, they’re asking:
"Do you really love me—even when I act out?"
"Will you still choose me when I’m hard to handle?"

Keep showing up, Dad.

They’re asking:
“What does it mean to be a man of God?”
“How do I walk through pain without falling apart?”
“Where do I turn when I’ve messed up?”

They don’t need perfection.
But they do need a father who doesn’t disappear.
Who doesn’t stay silent.
Who doesn’t defer the role God gave him.

They need a dad who leads—with love, with humility, and with holy courage.

And this is often where we lose ourselves.
How can I show my children something I haven’t fully lived?
How do I lead them to Jesus when I feel like I’m still trying to find Him myself?

This is where the enemy moves in with more lies.
He reminds you of your failures.
He records the times when you didn't open the Bible.
the moments you avoided worship,
the anger, the silence, the shame.

He wants you stuck—believing you’re disqualified.

But hear this, Dad: you don’t need to have it all figured out.
You don’t need to be someone else.
You just need to take the next step—right where you are.

Like a child learning to walk, you can grow into this.
You can come closer to your Heavenly Father, one step at a time.

If there’s distance, admit it. Be honest with God. He’s not surprised.
He’s not waiting for perfection—He’s waiting for you.

Your kids don’t need a dad who pretends.
They need a dad who’s real. Who’s growing. Who’s willing to walk with God in front of them.

This is how you lead. This is how you change generations.
Not by knowing it all, but by walking in humility and saying:
“Let’s follow Him together.”

3. The Spiritual Battle Is Real — And Fathers Are on the Front Lines

We are pulled in every direction to not fulfill the powerful role God has given us as fathers and leaders in the home.

At work, the grind never stops. Promotions, deadlines, and applause can feel more satisfying than wiping sticky hands or correcting that same eye-roll for the tenth time. Out there, success is clear and measurable. At home, it’s quiet, slow, often unnoticed.

And then there’s the darker pull—
Our addictions.
Food, porn, nicotine, alcohol—whatever your battle is, it whispers lies in your ear and locks you in shame.
You feel unworthy. You feel disqualified. You hide.

And even ministry—yes, even the “good” things—can become an escape.
It’s easier to prep a sermon than admit you blew it with your wife.
It’s easier to pray over a room of strangers than pray over your kids as they fight sleep.

But hear this clearly:
The enemy doesn’t care how noble your distraction is, as long as it keeps you from leading at home.

God didn’t place you in your family by accident.
He didn’t call you to just bring in the money or be the backup when Mom’s had enough.

He called you to lead.
Not perfectly, but faithfully.

You are not just a provider.
You are not just a helper.
You are the foundation. The covering. The spiritual gatekeeper of your home.

“If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?”
— 1 Timothy 3:5

Your home is not your side mission.
It is your primary battlefield, your training ground, your greatest legacy.

Yes, your job matters.
Yes, ministry is good.
But don’t sacrifice your family on the altar of success, addiction, or spiritual busyness.

Because the most powerful sermon you’ll ever preach won’t be from a pulpit—
It’ll be from the way you love your wife, raise your kids, and fight for the atmosphere of your home.

This is your calling. Don’t trade it for anything less.

A Legacy That Lasts

The world doesn’t need more passive fathers.
Your kids don’t need another voice from a screen—they need yours.
They need you. Fully present. Faithfully leading. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

So today, take the first step.
Stand up. Speak life.
Point your family to Jesus—not just with your words, but with your life.

You don’t have to do everything.
But you do have to do something.
Because your leadership? It’s not optional.
It’s foundational.

One day, your children won’t remember every mistake.
They’ll remember that their dad showed up, stood firm, and led them to the heart of the Father.

Let’s go, Dad.
Your family is waiting.

Need help taking that first step?
That’s exactly why The Family Oasis exists.
You don’t have to figure this out alone.
Let’s rebuild strong families—one father at a time.