I know Christmas still feels a long way off, but before we know it, one of our children will come home from school and ask, “Mum, is Santa real?” Now is a good time to consider how we’ll respond, before someone is standing in front of us waiting for an answer.
If you’re wondering how to tell your child the truth about Santa, start with a gentle, honest answer. Explain that Santa is a Christmas character and that people buy the presents. If you previously told them otherwise, acknowledge it and give them room to respond. You can still enjoy gifts, surprises, and Christmas traditions together.
Did you grow up believing Santa brought the presents? What about the tooth fairy? Or that the Easter Bunny hid chocolate eggs in your garden? The way we were raised often determines what we teach our children. You might be wondering, “What’s the issue? It’s a beautiful fantasy for them in a difficult world.” That’s exactly my point: we don’t always stop to consider what we want to pass on. A tooth falls out, and before you’ve given it a second thought, you hear yourself saying, “Put it under your pillow. The tooth fairy will come tonight!”
Let’s take a couple of minutes to reflect on this. You get to decide what you pass on.
How can we tell the truth about Santa and the tooth fairy from the beginning?
Children know how to pretend. A little girl can hand you an empty cup, tell you the tea is hot, and be absolutely delighted when you blow on it. She knows there is nothing inside. She is inviting you to play, and you join her in that imaginary world.
That kind of play is a beautiful and important part of childhood. We can sit down for a pretend tea party, turn the sofa into a pirate ship, or search the garden for an imaginary treasure. There is no need to convince our little ones that any of it is real for them to enjoy it.
So why should Santa, the tooth fairy, or the Easter Bunny be any different? Why do we feel we have to insist they actually exist to make those traditions special?
There is a difference between joining a child’s imagination and asking them to believe something we know is untrue. At the tea party, we both understand the game. But when we say a fairy will visit their bedroom tonight, leave money beneath the pillow, and take away a tooth, we are presenting a made-up story as a fact. They believe us because we are their parents, the people they trust to explain the world.
I don’t believe we should use that trust to make a fantasy convincing. We can enjoy stories, dress up, exchange gifts, and create wonderful memories while being honest about what we are doing. And when our children ask a direct question, they deserve a truthful answer, even if we worry it might spoil the moment.
Childhood does not need to be built on things that aren’t true to be full of wonder. There is already so much joy in surprises, celebrations, generosity, and time together. We can nurture their imagination and protect their trust at the same time.
Why I Believe Christian Parents Shouldn’t Tell Their Children Santa Is Real
By now, you probably understand where I stand. My aim is to encourage you to consider what you believe and why. Being intentional about what we teach our children means looking beyond the excitement of the moment and asking what we are building for the future.
That includes how we teach obedience and respect for limits. Both matter. Our children need to learn that our instructions carry weight, that boundaries are there for a reason, and that doing what is right matters even when no reward is waiting.
Yet how easily do we bring these characters into our parenting? “If you don’t listen, I’ll tell Santa.” “He’s watching you.” “Keep behaving like that, and you won’t get any presents.”
We may get the response we want in that moment, but what is motivating it? Fear of being watched by an imaginary character? The possibility of losing a gift? Neither helps a child understand why they should respect their parents, treat a sibling kindly, or accept a limit.
As parents, we need to take responsibility for the boundaries we set and follow through consistently. We can say, “I won’t let you hit your sister,” or, “It’s time to put your toys away,” and help our children learn to obey without bringing Santa into the conversation. Our authority should not depend on a story we will eventually have to admit was untrue.
For us as Christian parents, this also means teaching that obedience grows out of love for God and respect for others. That takes patient instruction, clear expectations, and appropriate consequences. It is everyday work, and a seasonal threat cannot replace it.
I want our children to know that when we set a boundary, we mean it, and when we tell them something, they can trust us.
Another reason is that we teach our children to tell the truth, even when it is uncomfortable or might cost them something. We expect honesty when they have broken a rule, hurt someone, or made a mistake. Our example needs to match that expectation.
If we knowingly tell them something untrue, then explain later that it was acceptable because it made Christmas more exciting, what are we teaching? That honesty depends on the occasion? That a good intention makes a lie acceptable?
Our children may ask us directly, “Is Santa really real?” In that moment, they trust us to help them understand what is true. If we keep the story going, invent evidence, or dismiss their doubts, we reinforce something we know is false.
Not every child will feel hurt when they discover the truth. Some will laugh and move on. Others may wonder why we insisted, especially if they asked us sincerely. We cannot decide for them how that discovery will feel.
As Christian parents, we want truthfulness to be part of our family’s character. That begins with us, including in the little things we could easily excuse. We can make celebrations joyful and nurture their imagination while being honest. I believe the trust our children place in our words is worth protecting.
When Finding Out Brings Hurt and Shame
I once heard about an inner healing session in which a woman felt God showed her that she had stopped trusting her parents when she discovered they had lied about Santa. For her, that moment carried a hurt she had brought into adulthood.
That does not mean every child will have the same experience. But it should make us pause before assuming the discovery is harmless or quickly forgotten.
Imagine your child confidently telling classmates that Santa is real. They know because Mum and Dad told them. Then someone laughs, others join in, and suddenly they discover that something they defended with complete confidence was never true.
In that moment, there may be more than disappointment. There can be embarrassment, confusion, and shame. “Was I the only one who didn’t know? Did everyone think I was stupid? Why did my parents keep telling me it was true?”
There is nothing foolish about a child believing their parents. That trust is precious. Yet when the truth comes out through teasing or ridicule, they may feel ashamed of the very innocence we thought we were protecting.
We cannot predict exactly how our children will respond. But we can take their feelings seriously instead of brushing them aside with, “It was only for fun.” What felt playful to us may have meant something very different to them.
That is why I believe this deserves more thought than we sometimes give it. We need to consider the moment they discover the truth just as carefully as the moments we spend keeping the story alive.
If you have already told your child Santa is real, you don’t need to wait for a particular birthday to speak truthfully. When they ask, answer the question they have actually asked. If you decide to bring it up yourself, choose a quiet moment together, away from siblings or friends. Keep your explanation simple and let their questions guide how much more you say.
What do I say when my child asks if Santa is real?
Start with a clear, honest answer, given gently: “Santa is a character in Christmas stories. He isn’t a real person who visits homes and brings presents. Those gifts come from people who love you.”
Give your child space to respond. They may have more questions, feel disappointed, or simply move on. If you previously told them otherwise, take responsibility: “We told you Santa was real, even though we knew he wasn’t. That was a lie, and it was wrong. We are sorry. Will you forgive us?”
Don’t rush past this moment or soften the apology with, “We were only trying to make it special.” Give your child room to speak, listen to how they feel, and take responsibility without defending your choice. They may need time, and forgiveness should never be demanded.
Repentance means acknowledging our sin before God and turning away from it. Ask for His forgiveness, and let your child see that you, too, need His grace. Then follow through by answering honestly, even when the truth feels uncomfortable. This is an opportunity to model the humility and repentance we ask of our children.
But what if the neighbours’ children or their friends still believe?
This is also an opportunity to teach kindness. Knowing the truth does not permit us to embarrass someone else. You might say, “Some families tell this story differently. Your friends may still believe Santa brings their presents. You don’t need to announce what you know or argue with them, and we never laugh at someone for believing what they’ve been told.”
That doesn’t mean asking your child to lie to protect another family’s story. If a friend asks directly, they can answer simply: “I believe Santa is a Christmas character. You can ask your parents about it.”
We can teach our children to be truthful and considerate at the same time. They don’t need to correct every conversation, but they should never feel responsible for keeping a story going that they know isn’t true.
How Do I Rebuild Trust After Lying to My Child?
Trust grows again as your child discovers that your words are dependable. After you have apologised, everyday conversations become opportunities to follow through, especially when an honest answer feels harder to give.
Suppose the next question comes at bedtime: “When you said the dentist wouldn’t hurt, did you know it might?”
It may feel unrelated to Santa, but your child could be reconsidering other things you have told them. Resist the urge to defend yourself or quickly reassure them again. You can say, “I hoped it wouldn’t hurt, but I didn’t know. I shouldn’t have promised something I couldn’t be sure of. Next time, I’ll tell you what I know and what I’m uncertain about. We can ask the dentist together.”
Your child might bring it up again a week later. It can be tempting to respond, “We’ve already been through this. Don’t you trust me?” But asking a question is not an act of disrespect. They need room to express doubt without feeling guilty for it. Our responsibility is to become trustworthy in practice, rather than ask them to prove they have forgiven us by never mentioning it again.
When the next appointment comes, let your child hear you ask, “Could you explain what this will feel like?” That small act shows that you remembered the conversation and meant what you said.
The same principle applies elsewhere. Keep your promises, admit when you don’t know, and correct yourself when you have given an inaccurate answer. Avoid saying whatever will secure cooperation in the moment if you cannot stand behind it later.
Over time, these choices give your child repeated reasons to trust you. They get to experience a parent who takes responsibility and whose repentance leads to a change they can see.
What if my child asks, “Did you make up Jesus too?”
That question may be painful to hear, especially when sharing your faith is central to your parenting. But take it seriously. Your child heard about the shepherds in Bethlehem and the reindeer on the roof from the same person. They may need help understanding why you presented both as true.
Resist the urge to respond with shock or make them feel wrong for asking. This is a moment to listen carefully and acknowledge why they might be confused.
You could say, “No, sweetheart. I made a choice to tell you Santa, the tooth fairy, or the Easter bunny was real when I knew he wasn’t. That was wrong. When I tell you about Jesus, I am sharing what I believe is true. I believe He lived, died, and rose again, and I trust Him. You can ask me why I believe that.”
Then make room for those questions. We want our children to know that faith can be explored honestly, including when their questions make us uncomfortable. “You just have to believe me” is hardly a helpful answer when our own honesty is what they are trying to understand.
If they ask how we know about Jesus, you could open Luke’s Gospel together. In Luke 1:1–4, he explains that his account draws on what eyewitnesses passed down and that he carefully investigated what he was writing about. Read those verses slowly and talk about what they mean. Let the conversation grow from what your child actually wants to understand.
You can also share why you personally trust Jesus, how you came to faith, and what following Him means in your everyday life. Be honest about the difference between what Scripture teaches, what you have experienced, and what you do not yet understand. If you cannot answer something, say, “I don’t know. Let’s look into that together.”
There is no need to settle every question in one evening. Your child may want a longer conversation, or they may simply need reassurance and a cuddle. Leave room to return to it.
We cannot demand that our children trust our testimony. We can speak truthfully, welcome their questions, and live in a way that reflects the faith we share, including by humbly admitting when we have failed to practise it.
And remind them that they can speak to Jesus themselves. “You can tell Him what you’re wondering, even what feels confusing. You can ask, ‘Jesus, are You real? Help me know You.’” We want our children to know Him personally, and we can give them space to pray, listen, and bring their questions to Him without pressure to have a particular experience or an immediate answer.
What if my spouse or the grandparents want to keep Santa real?
When you and your spouse see this differently, take time to talk privately, away from the children. Listen to what the tradition means to each of you. There may be cherished memories behind their desire to keep it going, and understanding those feelings will help you speak with care.
Ask, “What do we want our children to remember about Christmas? How can we create those memories while being truthful?” You may discover that much of what you both treasure- filling stockings, preparing surprises, and gathering as a family- can continue without telling your children Santa is real.
Most importantly, pray together about it. Ask God to search your hearts, guide your decisions, and help you become united in what you teach.
If your husband or wife is not ready to pray with you, you can still bring the situation before the Lord. Nothing is impossible for God. He can work in both your hearts and help you navigate a conversation that currently feels difficult. You do not need to force an immediate agreement or turn every mention of Christmas into an argument. Keep speaking honestly and respectfully as you work towards a shared decision.
With grandparents, be warm but clear about the approach you have chosen as parents. Ideally, communicate it together before a visit: “We’ve decided to tell the children that Santa is a Christmas character. We still want to enjoy stockings, gifts, and surprises, and we’d love your help in keeping our answers honest.”
They may feel disappointed or disagree. You can acknowledge that without giving up the boundary: “I understand this was special when we were growing up. We’re grateful for the love you put into Christmas. This is how we’ve chosen to approach it with our children, and we’re asking you to respect that.”
Have these conversations early, so your children are not caught between conflicting explanations or asked to keep secrets from you. The aim is to make room for joyful family celebrations where honesty is respected, and the adults take responsibility for working through their differences.
Start a New Christmas Tradition That Points Your Family to Jesus
When we rethink a tradition, we also have an opportunity to begin something meaningful. What would it look like for our children to approach Christmas wondering, “Who can we encourage? What can we give? How can we share the love of Jesus?”
That is the heart behind The Giving Christmas Challenge and its companion Journal. We created them because we want our children, and yours, to know Jesus personally and learn to follow Him in everyday life.
Through 25 days of simple challenges, your family is invited to listen, pray, give, and put love into action. The journal provides space to reflect together and remember what you experience along the way.
Our prayer is that these moments lead to conversations you might otherwise never have, opportunities to forgive, and the joy of noticing someone who needs encouragement. As you make time for Jesus together, we hope your children discover that they can hear from Him, speak to Him, and share His love with others.
You don’t need a perfect December or an elaborate plan. Start with a willing heart and a little time together. Let this become a tradition your children remember, one they may someday pass on to their own families.
Available in English, French, and German, the challenge and journal can help you begin this Christmas, with habits of generosity, prayer, and love that continue throughout the year.
Grow closer to Jesus this Christmas
Our heart is for our children, and yours, to know Jesus personally and follow Him every day. Our Christmas challenge and journal invite your family to listen, pray, and give together, sharing His love at Christmas and throughout the year.
🎁 Buy the challenge & journalAvailable in English, French, and German. A thoughtful gift for another family, too.